Slow Down: Sophie at Seven

My favorite job I've ever had was teaching second grade. I always suspected I was born to be a mother, but I didn't know until after college that I was also born to be a teacher. Thankfully, I discovered it in time to have four amazing years at a wonderful school teaching the most precious children from families that became dear to me. I can still name each of my second grade students, and I vividly remember all thirteen of my first class of second graders. Several of them I still know and love today. In just a couple of weeks, my first class of second graders leaves for college. I'm still not quite sure how that is possible.

In that same couple of weeks, my first baby will head to second grade. I'm not sure how that is possible either, but what I'm more concerned about is the fact that all I did was blink my eyes, move a couple of times, change a few hundred diapers, and teach a child to read in the time between that first day of teaching second grade and the time my first class leaves for college. I am afraid that if I blink, move again, keep changing all these diapers, and teach another one to read, that I will be packing Sophie's bags.

My first baby is seven, and I'm okay with that, but I'm not really okay with this going any further. I don't know if it's because we (mostly) homeschool or because I've been very intentional about cherishing the moments, but thus far, I've done pretty well with Sophie growing, changing, hitting milestones, etc. I was not one of the moms crying on the first day of kindergarten (now, she did only leave me two days a week...). I didn't get weepy when she moved into a big girl bed, gave up her pacifier, or even when she learned how to pronounce the word "out" instead of "ourt" (though Matt still tears up over that one!)

For the most part, I've adopted my mom's stance of: I enjoy my children more and more as they grow older, primarily, for me, because I get to know them better. But recently, (and it may

have a little to do with pregnancy hormones, but probably not, since when I am not experiencing those?), I've begun struggling a bit with how quickly she is growing. And though I think it started with the wiggling of the top tooth, I also know that I can perfectly picture each of those thirteen snaggly-toothed kids from PCA, not quite little ones, but certainly not big kids, and today, I can pull up way too many of their pictures on facebook and see what, for all practical purposes, are beautiful/handsome young adults. Oh, my goodness, it feels like someone has cut the brakes!

So, because I want to slow things down a bit, I want to remember, and I want to count my gifts. When it comes to my snaggly-toothed 2nd grader, I have many blessings to count. So, here's what I've been paying attention to, counting seven important gifts about my seven year old:

Sophie is a reader. Not only does Sophie read phenomenally well, but she also reads phenomenally often. We have the rule that as long as she stays in her room, she can read as late as she wants. It is regularly after 11 before she falls asleep with the light on, and after 12 is not at all unheard of. Her current goal is to read every book in our home. I would be fine with that, except that she insists that after she's read the books, they be removed from her room. The rest of the house is quickly running out of room. If you go in any of our three bathrooms, you will find a book, either laying on the bathroom floor or on the back of the commode. She wants to be sure she is able to read at all times. Her favorites are Boxcar Children, Magic Tree House, Junie B. Jones, American Girl, and most recently, The Series of Unfortunate Events. But she'll read most anything put in front of her, recently including, Shakespeare for Children, after which we overheard her asking Zoe if she was familiar with Shakespeare!

Sophie is an artist. Aside from reading, Sophie's other primary reason for getting up in
the morning is to create art. Coloring, painting, using markers, pastels, colored pencils etc. are all on the list of Sophie's favorite ways to spend an afternoon. At her 7th birthday party, in honor of Rapunzel, we painted the "walls" of our fence. I don't think I've ever seen Sophie any happier! We gave her a nice art kit on the morning of her actual birthday, and she lit up like a Christmas tree. It's so funny to me because while I totally understand and relate to her love of books, I can't draw a stick man, nor do I have much inclination to. But her love of art comes naturally to her by way of her dad, and I am learning to appreciate my daughter's desire to create.

Sophie is strong. Her will is remarkable. She is perfectly delightful as long as everything is going her way, but she can absolutely smell weakness, and I better feel strong and courageous whenever I need to tell her no. She has an amazing ability to exert her will on other people, and I must confess to times of letting her have her way because I didn't have the energy to fight her. That is not our family norm, however, and the primary "rule" I use for disciplining Sophie is "pick your battles carefully, but win what you pick." I am thankful that this seems to be getting ever-so-slightly easier as Sophie matures, and particularly as she grows spiritually.

Sophie is growing in wisdom. She has a new, but growing relationship with Jesus. This past year, after several months of thought, she decided to ask Jesus into her heart, and though she is still currently a no-go on baptism, she is growing in wisdom and insight. She faithfully reads her Jesus Calling, and writes a word on her wrist to remind her of the "main thing" to remember for that day. Though I see in her the same stubbornness that I know firsthand requires a painfully long chipping-away process, I know that He who has begun the work in Sophie will be faithful to complete it. And as her parents, Matt and I are anxious to invest in Sophie spiritually as she grows.

Sophie has a child-like heart. Sophie loves to laugh and makes us laugh each day. She has a certain way of seeing the world and an even more dramatic way of expressing her perspective
that keep Matt and I (and many of our facebook friends) smiling. I'm never quite sure what will come out of her mouth, and I feel like I should pin a note on her dress whenever she's at school, church, dance, etc. to the effect of "the views expressed by Sophie do not necessarily represent the views of Matt, Carrie or any member of the Roden or White family."

Sophie loves well. Though she would have made a very comfortable only child, she has continually wanted us to have more children (though we've decided to quit letting her make that decision), and for the most part, she is a loving, helpful big sister. She and Will are getting to the ages of a little more bickering, but even when she's ready to throttle him, she loves her big buddy, and it's not uncommon for me to hear her telling him he's the best boy in the world. She's crazy over Lillie, and I can always count on her to entertain Lillie and be an extra set of hands in taking care of her. She's already thrilled about Lucie, and she has never even once questioned whether or not she will get less time or attention. She dearly loves Zoe, and though she has dealt with some jealousy, I'm proud of how quickly and fully she has embraced her cousin. Now

Soph is far from selfless, and she might prefer to have things revolve around her, but I'm thankful for how freely she showers love on the children in our family.

Sophie longs for adventure. She may be part gypsy. She has a natural love of adventure, as she comes from a long line of world travelers. She didn't blink about getting on a plane and going to Africa, and she tells stories of a monkey stealing fruit from the kitchen there like most people would tell about seeing a bunny in the yard. She's made trips to LA, Chicago, New York, and several trips to Disney, and she's always plotting and planning her next adventure. (She's currently gunning for Patti-Grams to take her to London!) She is actually pretty "go with the flow" when it comes to travel, and I'm proud of her bravery, her flexibility, and her love of new experiences.

So, I cannot make the clock stop. As Sophie reminded me today, she is now "half a teenager." I will blink. We will move. Goodness knows I will change diapers. And, I will teach other little ones to read. And, at some point, I will pack her bags. But until then, I will pay attention. I will give thanks. And in doing so, time will slow.

"Giving thanks for one thousand things is ultimately an invitation to slow down time with the weight of full attention." - From One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp