The Power of the Tongue



The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
 
This year we went to church the Saturday night before Easter, got all dressed up (even though almost no one at the Saturday night service was) and went out to a nice dinner after the service. While we were waiting outside the restaurant, somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard Sophie say, "Oh, that stinks!" I was distracted with thoughts of how I would keep Will in one piece for an 8 p.m. dinner, picturing the havoc he would wreak in the tiny not-kid-friendly restaurant. All of a sudden, I heard her again, "It really stinks!" And then a man's voice, "I know, honey, I am so sorry!" 

I think my head actually spun around as I realized that "It really stinks!" was in reference to a man's cigarette smoke. Matt and I both began (rather sternly) correcting Sophie and (rather profusely) apologizing to the man who was exceptionally kind, saying he had two little girls of his own. I called Sophie to me and she blinked her big eyes at me as I told her how rude that was, and then she immediately burst into tears in a way I've never quite seen her do. Through her sobs and heaving on my lap, I could make out, "I ddd-didn't know! I thought it was the ttt-rash can!" I then realized that she had been standing right by the trash can, and she thought the smell was coming from there! She was absolutely devastated!

As I held her, I asked her if she was feeling embarrassed, and she stammered, "Nnn-oo, I feel sad." She cried a few moments longer, and then choked out, "I think I do feel embarrassed." My heart broke for Sophie. I so know the pain that comes from words that you can't take back. I longed to tell her that it was OK, that it didn't matter, but of course, that wasn't true. I longed to tell her that she wouldn't make the same mistake again, but of course that isn't true. So, I just held her, almost in tears myself and assured her that I understood. That my love was the same no matter what. 

I can help Sophie learn to choose her words more carefully, and I can certainly show her what to do when you don't. Maybe more than anything else, I can be the lap she crawls onto when she deals with the pain of realizing that she has hurt someone else. It's a peculiar type of pain that I am too familiar with. I can give Sophie love and understanding because it has been so freely given to me. My greatest desire is model for her how to harness the power of her words to bring life. May the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be pleasing in Your sight O Lord, our Rock and our Redeemer.

Comments

by Laurie Newman said…
Oh, the joy of a lap where you are loved no matter... what a model of His love for us! I love reading your eloquent writing as well, and the wisdom beyond your years. Love you so!
May 11, 2009 at 9:43 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happy 31st Birthday!

Image
Happy 31st Birthday Matt! Most people say things like, "I can hardly believe it's been a year since we fill-in-the blank... My, where does the time go???" Well, I know where the time since your last birthday has gone. It's been right here backing over us like a mack truck! All I can think as I remember last Halloween is how has it only been one year since you were celebrating your 30th birthday by going to a Halloween bash designed for teenagers while Aunt Pam and I took the kids trick-or-treating in the rain? It seems like at least three years ago since you and I were in the house with a princess throwing a fit about something while Aunt Pam was on the front porch knocking on the door to let us know our dragon had just made himself throw up to avoid wearing his costume. Seriously. Are you sure you're not turning 35? Since this year has been oh-so-eventful, I thought it would be no problem to come up with 31 memorable moments from the past year! 1. Begin at the b...
Read more

She Never Stops Talking

Image
Sometimes when Matt is home for extended periods of time, as he was during the week of Thanksgiving, he has the opportunity to notice new things about our children. Not that he isn't connected to them - he is an amazing, hands-on, intentional dad, but the fact that he spends much of his time at work means that there are little "joys" his misses out on.  One of the little "joys" he misses most of the time is the opportunity to spend long periods of time in the car with our kids. (I attribute Matt's perpetual cheerfulness to this fact, but that is another story...) Over Thanksgiving, however, Matt spent all kinds of time in the car with our offspring, and he was stunned by the number of times Sophie said "Mama..." Now, she said it no more and no less than she normally does, but the fact that Matt was in the car and I was talking, or trying to talk, with him seemed to highlight how often the word that has become my name was uttered. Sophie has always...
Read more

Sophie's 8th Birthday

Image
Sophie had one of her most perfect days on her 8th birthday, and I loved that we were able to give her a dream-come-true day! She woke up to a birthday breakfast, but without our typical doughnuts because we were headed straight for the Franklin Farmer's Market. We showered her with art supplies and an Ariel birthday sign, and she was thrilled about all of them!  At the Farmer's Market, Sophie roamed around like the gypsy she is, thrilled to have $10 (instead of her usual $5) to spend! You can't imagine how much Sophie can buy with $10 at the Farmer's Market! When honey sticks are going for a quarter, that can make for a long day! It was hotter than blue blazes, and we'd brought Aunt Tori, Uncle Derek, Aunt Hope, and Zoe, so over half our crew had to head inside The Factory before Soph had finished her shopping, but not before we all enjoyed treats and lunch from Biscuit Love!  After the Farmer's Market, we all head to Honey's, a new candy ...
Read more