The Power of the Tongue

The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

 

This year we went to church the Saturday night before Easter, got all dressed up (even though almost no one at the Saturday night service was) and went out to a nice dinner after the service. While we were waiting outside the restaurant, somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard Sophie say, "Oh, that stinks!" I was distracted with thoughts of how I would keep Will in one piece for an 8 p.m. dinner, picturing the havoc he would wreak in the tiny not-kid-friendly restaurant. All of a sudden, I heard her again, "It really stinks!" And then a man's voice, "I know, honey, I am so sorry!" 

I think my head actually spun around as I realized that "It really stinks!" was in reference to a man's cigarette smoke. Matt and I both began (rather sternly) correcting Sophie and (rather profusely) apologizing to the man who was exceptionally kind, saying he had two little girls of his own. I called Sophie to me and she blinked her big eyes at me as I told her how rude that was, and then she immediately burst into tears in a way I've never quite seen her do. Through her sobs and heaving on my lap, I could make out, "I ddd-didn't know! I thought it was the ttt-rash can!" I then realized that she had been standing right by the trash can, and she thought the smell was coming from there! She was absolutely devastated!

As I held her, I asked her if she was feeling embarrassed, and she stammered, "Nnn-oo, I feel sad." She cried a few moments longer, and then choked out, "I think I do feel embarrassed." My heart broke for Sophie. I so know the pain that comes from words that you can't take back. I longed to tell her that it was OK, that it didn't matter, but of course, that wasn't true. I longed to tell her that she wouldn't make the same mistake again, but of course that isn't true. So, I just held her, almost in tears myself and assured her that I understood. That my love was the same no matter what. 

I can help Sophie learn to choose her words more carefully, and I can certainly show her what to do when you don't. Maybe more than anything else, I can be the lap she crawls onto when she deals with the pain of realizing that she has hurt someone else. It's a peculiar type of pain that I am too familiar with. I can give Sophie love and understanding because it has been so freely given to me. My greatest desire is model for her how to harness the power of her words to bring life. May the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be pleasing in Your sight O Lord, our Rock and our Redeemer.