I Do!

Will has been in a fairly trying stage lately. Ultra-demanding, ultra-intense, ultra-loud... Typical days beginning with "Milk, Milk, Milk," closely followed by "Read, Read, Read," followed by "Play, Play, Play," followed by "Eat, Eat, Eat." With variations of that pattern repeated throughout the day with the decibel level growing louder with each cycle.

(the infamous White Family Half Glance...)

He is something of a mama's boy anyway, but lately he has wanted my undivided attention (meaning it was unacceptable for me to interact with Matt, Sophie or anyone else). This made homeschooling Sophie on Tuesdays and Wednesdays a particular joy! He found it utterly unacceptable to be left out of anything Sophie might be doing, right down to wanting to write in the same book she happened to be writing in. As far as his own school experience, I truly wondered if he (or his poor teachers) would make it through the one 11:30 a.m.-5 p.m. day a week he is at MAFA. He was doing things like screaming and holding his breath, refusing to participate in any activity, and prompting his teachers to say, "He was just never happy, all day!" I believed the Lord brought us to the school, and I wanted to believe the counsel of other teachers and staff that he would adjust, but I just wasn't sure.

So I've spent early mornings praying for him to watch 10 minutes of PBS while I keep sleeping, mornings trying to be patient, middays asking the Lord for extra energy, afternoons taking catnaps while he slept, and late afternoons dreaming of military schools for toddlers. I jokingly said that life with Will was like a relationship with a controlling boyfriend, - him watching my every move, monitoring my time with others, me not ever meeting his high expectations, and him trying to bite me if I failed to tow the line! Needless to say, while my love for him never wavered, I can say I wasn't exactly savoring the moments!

I've tried to look at the positives - he has an iron will (which if molded for good will be an asset), an intense love of reading (which will be fabulous once he realizes that neither Polar Bear, Polar Bear nor The House That Jack Built should be read more than 50 times in any given day), and leadership skills (not only does he hold his own against his super-strong-willed sister, but he often leads her, literally, around by the ponytail.)

As I put him him to sleep each night, reading, praying, and singing, I held him just a little bit longer, thankful for the quiet time together, so routined that neither of us was frustrated with the other. And, somewhere along the way, I realized that the days with Will were, in fact, getting easier. Then, this past Thursday, I noticed that, to a large extent, the storm seems to have passed.

On one hand, nothing has actually changed. He is still "Iron Will," an obsessed lover of books, and a tough guy able to stand up to his sister, but something has softened. He gives me lots of big love in the mornings (while he literally pries my eyes open with his fingers), he plays trains by himself for a while before asking "hand, hand" in order to lead me to his train table to "play, play, play," he colors in his coloring books while Sophie and I work at the table, and he brings his cars into the kitchen and plays beside us instead of screaming for my undivided attention. During story time, he lets me read a book to him, then to Soph. (Though he is still known to start with "again, again, again" before I start reading the last page of his book!) At bedtime, I tell him, "This is going to be the last book," and he responds, "Okaaay!" And just today, he had an amazing day at school, didn't cry when I dropped him off, colored and participated, and to the surprise of both his teachers and me, was great all day!

Looking back, I can see Will was in what psychologists would call a "negative phase" (understatement of the year?) often associated with periods of growth and developmen

t. He has so many new words compared to this time even a month ago! He is also starting to string together sentences, (I want cake!, Read Jack please!) In the past month, he also developed a love for a comfort item; it is rather strange, but a comfort item nonetheless - a $12 Cars coloring book purchased for him by Patti-Grams. We now have two of these gems, and as crazy (and expensive) as it sounds, we will be purchasing a third. In fact, his teachers ask if he has the Cars book before they let him into class!

(showing off his Cars coloring books)

Not only has Will been using lots more words, he has even been using some "manner words." We get "please" on a fairly regular basis and we've now had "sorry" just a couple of times. He told Matt "thanks" the other night for the first time, but still no "I love you." I can't imagine I child being told "I love you" more than Will, so tonight at bedtime, after telling him several times, I asked him, "Will, do you love Mama?" He looked straight up at me, grinned from ear to ear, and exclaimed, "I Doooooooo!" My squeals of delight brought Matt and Sophie into his nursery so they could ask, "Will, do you love Daddy?," to which he gleefully responded, "I Doooooooooo!" Then "Will do you love Sophie?" Again, "I Dooooooooooooooo!" We were all so excited, and I will never know which of the four of us was proudest!

I know that our challenges are far from over. Will is still "large and in charge," and while I love

being the primary object of his affection, I know that comes with the joy of being the primary object of his wrath! We are just beginning this journey into toddlerhood, and a new baby is on the way, so we are expecting plenty of ups and downs. But this week has been a definite "up," full of the joy of watching Will transform from a caveman to a loving, little boy. And as to whether or not I love my precious son, "I Doooooooooooooo!"