Rest

I've been resting for over a week. I'm positive that I haven't rested this much in over five years, and, really, I can't remember ever resting this much. There have been days in the past week, when I haven't ventured past our bedroom and bathroom! I have been the typical mom of young children, craving rest above most all else in life, but now that I've experienced it in abundance, I'm finding resting not to be all I had imagined.

A week ago last Saturday night, I pulled my back out. Not an uncommon experience for me. At least several times a year, I struggle with back pain. My mom has horrible back problems, (she's already had surgery and tons of other forms of treatment). My grandmother has terrible back and bone problems, and I'm sure it goes back even farther. At any rate, I wasn't overly concerned because I can usually get flat, apply ice, take pain killer, rest for several hours, and be, at least, a little better. Not this time.

I'm not sure if it was caused by the pregnancy and impending labor or just aggravated by it, but this was the most intense back pain I've ever experienced, and after shaking, throwing up, and not sleeping a wink, I was taken by ambulance to the hospital last Saturday night, sometime around 3 a.m. (We were so thankful for our across-the-street neighbor who so graciously came to stay with our children!)

Now to say this particular adventure was not part of my well-laid plans of waiting for Lillie is the understatement of the year. The teacher in me had worked on beautiful plans for the two weeks before we would welcome our new baby. I had worked most of the weekend getting things ready for two more Mondays of teaching at MAFA, prepared supplies for being out for several weeks after the baby, readied Lillie's bag for the hospital, and was starting to think about getting my own bag packed when I went to put a pair of pjs away, and soon realized all my plans were going down the tubes!

Of course it was Saturday night - the night it is most essential for Matt to get a good night's rest, and that clearly didn't happen either! After a surreal ambulance ride with no heat and well below freezing temperatures, a crazy night at the hospital being moved from L&D to the ER, I came home so grateful for pain medicine and orders to rest. Thank goodness my mom arrived and totally took over with Sophie and Will. (An over 35-pound twenty-three month old who loves to be held tough to manage with a bad back!) A wonderful sitter from Crossroads came until mom could have time to arrive, so Matt and I could sleep after over 24 hours of not sleeping!

Mom completely saved us, once again, and I have now slept more in the past week than I have in any week in well over five years. I really don't remember a time when I have been in the bed, quite this much. I am finally feeling a little better, and weaning off the pain medicine, but I am finding resting to be more difficult when not aided by drugs! I am now oh-so-ready to be finished with what had been, to this point, my easiest pregnancy!

I am literally fighting not to be consumed with worry and fear. Instead, we are praying like crazy that my back will be strong enough to deliver without a c-section. Because of how very pregnant I am, I haven't been able to do any of the tests that need to be done to properly diagnose what is wrong with my back (though the strong suspicion is a slipped disc). In fact, the neurologist has recommended that I get "wheeled down" for an MRI shortly after delivering! So, we are also praying that delivery will be smooth (and much less full of adventure than Will's), that Lillie will be healthy, and that I will be able to bounce back from this delivery as well as I have the others!

In the meantime, I am resting. Resting in the knowledge that I am not in control, nor do I really want to be. Resting in the fact that I can trust the Lord who is faithful when I am not. Resting in the promise that He knows what my children need (and for that matter, what I need) far better than I do. I have let my requests be made known to God, I am thanking him for the provisions He has made, is making, and will make, and now I am claiming that His peace will guard my heart and mind as I continue to rest.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7