I Can't Believe You're Mine

My sweet Lillian Hope,

You are eight months old, and each day when I look at you, I'm filled with wonder. Recently, Daddy and I heard a song (When We Were Young) that perfectly describes how I feel about being your mama. Eight months later, I look at you and I still can't believe you're mine. You are so beautiful, so precious, so full of joy and gentleness. I have been given two amazing gifts, and I guess that somehow, even though I knew I would love you, I didn't realize that you would totally knock my socks off! I just can't believe that the Lord has blessed me with you.

I've experienced the joy of parenting and the overwhelming love a mama has for her child, but, until you started smiling,

I never fully understood the term "bundle of joy." And there just isn't a better term to describe you. Sometimes in the middle of the night I can see your precious grin through the darkness of our bedroom. Even though you can't possibly see me well, you know me and show me how happy you are to be with me, even though it's 3 a.m.! So many times I think, "if I have to be awake, I am so glad I am awake with you!"

You smile with your whole face - actually, with your whole body. Usually your legs are kicking and arms flapping, not one of your muscles can hide the joy that begins in your mouth, but takes over from eyes to toes! It's been said of my best friend Ashley that she's so happy you could hit her in the head with a brick and she'd keep smiling, and if life with your brother is any

indication, you and Aunt Ashley have a lot in common!

Not that either one of you are anybody's fool, mind you! Aunt Ashley is known for moving from "light" to "heavy" when pushed too far, and you, too, can definitely let everyone know if and when you aren't happy! In fact, though you are by far and away my easiest baby, you can give other people (especially poor Miss Jana at church) a run for her money! At home, you grin and coo every morning until...I have to get a shower! No matter how much I try to distract you or how covertly I slip out of the room, you always know, and you let us all know it! You are just a girl who knows what she wants, and what you usually want is Mama! So you usually stay pretty close to me, and you spend most of your time happy as a lark!

You are also loving daddy these days, and with your big blue eyes and million-dollar smile, and

of course, that "da, da, da,"you love to break out, he is putty in your hands. He will always stop whatever else he is doing to make the "monster noise" one more time just to hear you squeal and see you flap those arms and legs! (You and Sophie giggle gleefully while Daddy pretends to be a monster; meanwhile your brother yells "Shut it," makes a fist and starts swinging!) I foresee you breaking Daddy's heart and driving him half-crazy when you get to the age when you flash your baby blues and big smile at boys other than Daddy and Will.

Your brother absolutely adores you, though I can't believe you've yet to be permanently scarred by his signs of affection. Each morning, he tells you "I missed your toes!" before he squeezes them nearly off your foot! Oh, but he loves you. Sophie takes amazing care of you, and actually she is my only rival for your devotion. You absolutely worship the ground she walks on. No one can come close to making you laugh the way she does, and last week, she had a fever, and I had

to keep you in different rooms, and you would fussed, craned your neck, and reached for the door where you heard her voice! If your relationships now are any indication, I believe you will be following

Sophie around trying to be just like her, and she will be making you laugh like no one else can (probably by making fun of me and your dad!). I foresee Will loving you to pieces,

maybe literally, struggling to figure out how a big brother shows love to his baby sister without giving her a concussion!

My Lillian Hope, I prayed and continue to pray that you will be beautiful, inside and out and that you will be full of hope and bring hope to others. As I look in your beautiful eyes and see the joy that bubbles right out of you, I know the Lord has begun a beautiful work in you. As I think about the hope that you brought our family through the uncertain days of Tato's cancer, and I witness how a stranger can go from sullen and sour to engaged and smiling after just a few moments with you, I believe that hope is a special part of who you are and who you will be. My sweet Lillie, I love you big as the sky, and even after eight months, I can't believe you're mine.

Mama